Where's the fast forward button?

If it was not for the Metho i think id be feeling OK by now. but of course that was the whole point of being in this state!
OK, so how it has panned out this time, the damage from Methotrexate has been to my mouth, nose lining, stomach and intestine. my stomach got away lightly the first time, but now seems to have taken the brunt of it. this is soo painful - a burning sensation, which can be mild or as severe as cramps. sometimes i can move around OK, this night i woke feeling OK so got outa bed to do that thing and felt like i dropped battery acid into an open would in my stomach. lay down quick. didn't subside, so called for the nurse for morphine. that eased it for a while. but now it is still too painful to sleep. (hence writing this)
I am assured that, just like in the first cycle, this will all heal with the help of the white cells. so just need more time. Boy i wish i could fast forward a few days!

So you can imagine i am not too chatty at the moment, so have not been keeping up to date replying to you all.
Thank you everyone who has been in touch, whether by letter, email, blog, facebook, phone or visiting. you all help enormously boost me through these dark partches, which yes are bad, but with everyone's support and my determnation i will come through. As Claire reminded me,
Lance said: "Cancer, you picked the wrong guy"